Ian Cover says the Coodabeen Champions have never "analysed or scrutinised or workshopped" why they've been on radio talking about football for 34 seasons. Of course they haven't; modern workplace jargon makes good material for the Coodas, only because it's the language of the "industry" they continue to rail against.
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In essence, little has changed since 1981, when teacher Jeff Richardson and Simon Whelan (now Justice Whelan of the Supreme Court of Victoria) sold community radio station 3RRR on a gap in the market for a footy program from the fans' perspective.
"Once upon a time football was an escape from the serious matters of life, and now football itself has become far too serious," Cover says.
"We're still approaching the footy from the perspective of being the thing you look forward to so you can escape everything else. Maybe that's assisted it in enduring - as football has become more and more a business and an industry, perhaps people still see us as some little oasis in a very serious landscape."
Their abiding popularity will be showcased at the Arts Centre on Sunday afternoon when the Coodabeens take the Playhouse stage and do, well, the same stuff they've been doing for 34 years. "As Simon once said, 'We crap on a bit, then Greg [Champion] does a few songs,'" Cover said of what the audience could expect.
The show starts at 2pm, "but don't be surprised if we don't come on until 2.10pm" Cover says, conscious of the void to be filled on an AFL-free Sunday afternoon.
The Arts Centre phone lines have been rejigged to allow for a special edition of Coodabeens talkback, and Champion will sift through a bulging inbox of reader-penned songs for a segment that he once wrote 90 per cent of the material for himself. But there won't be any talk about the "issues" that obsess the football media outside the white line.
A golf partner recently engaged Cover in the latest developments in the Essendon drugs saga, and said, "Can't wait to hear what you blokes have to say about that on Saturday!" "To which I replied, 'Well don't tune in 'cos we won't be talking about it'!"
Cover says they "turned the list over a bit" in the early days, but muso Billy Baxter and South Melbourne seven-gamer Jeff "Torch" McGee ("we needed a token footballer to give us some credibility") remain alongside Cover, Champion and Richardson. They've settled into an annual Brownlow night gig at the MCG, and the audience should come armed with the knowledge that there's no telling what being part of a live Coodabeens gig will lead to.
At Festival Hall in the late 1980s they hosted a benefit show for Fitzroy FC, at which the cast of Neighbours performed for the crowd of 5000. "One of the stars of Neighbours made her first public singing appearance, doing Locomotion backed by Greg Champion's band," Cover recalls.
Writing a TV column for the old Sun News Pictorial at the time, journalist Cover told his readers, "If Kylie Minogue ever takes the time to record that song, it will be a hit!"
Their 34th year of a career that featured seven years at 3RRR, five at the old 3LO, a decade at 3AW and now 12 back at the ABC has been a big one, with the Coodabeens leading their Saturday morning timeslot across the airwaves, surely the perfect launch pad to taking Sunday's show on the road to celebrate their 35th anniversary next year.
Meanwhile, the AFL is now overseen by a chief executive whose first vow in office was to take footy back to the fans. Far from feeling like Gillon McLachlan is encroaching on their turf, Cover says the Coodas are emboldened.
"Although we're still waiting for him to ring. Given our grassroots connection, he might have thought about getting the boys in. Perhaps we could meet him at the bar in the Pavvy at the old Melbourne Uni ground."
THE WATCHMAN
1 minute to midnight for... Cadel Evans, with the Australian set to announce this week whether he plans to ride on. Evans is racing in the road world championships in Ponferrada, Spain this week as speculation mounts that the 37-year-old will retire at the end of the season.
LOCAL HERO
In a bid to boost Australia's chances of future Olympic success, a new group of 32 young gun swimmers will later this month form the inaugural Swimming Australia "Kaizen" Talent Camp. With the Tokyo 2020 Olympics as their goal, the name reflects the Japanese philosophy of "continuous improvement". The squad was chosen from more than 200 swimmers in State-based Talent Assessment Camps and comprises 19 males and 17 females.
WHAT THEY SHOULD DO...
... is have the Score Review panel award Brownlow medal votes. With Charlie seemingly better celebrated than a premiership medallion, a Norm Smith or even All Australian we need to ensure that we get the right result every time. Think about it, there's a multitude of cameras with all the angles, thus ensuring the worth of every kick is counted. Tasking this approach rather than the umpire's view may even give forwards and backs the chance to compete. Also imagine what all those camera angles could do for the Red Carpet prelude? - CHRISTOPHER K HOLDSTOCK, Glenroy.
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