The stunner
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After several years of state governments – both Pepsi Party and the Coke Coalition – hibernating squarely on top of their thumbs on this issue, finally we have digital extraction. The mesh enclosure for the sport of mixed martial arts (MMA) is approved for use in Victoria.
What's amazing about this isn't that it heralds the return of Imperial Rome, or brings brutality to our otherwise pristine streets, or whatever is this week's flavour of poppycock from the usual crew of research-proof, panic-stricken, pop-off merchants. (Stand by for "human cockfights" again. You know, you can't even use that body part under UFC rules.)
What's amazing is that MMA contests were legalised and continued under those governments for YEARS while they maintained a ban on the safest kind of environment in which to conduct them. It was dumb luck that there wasn't resultant serious injury on their watch. Those concerned should take out a lottery ticket.
In contrast to the epic dithering proceeding this change, immediately afterwards UFC broke about 15 land speed records announcing its first Melbourne card for November. This will be completely unlike the Formula One grand prix. The GP has no mainstream media white-anting it. UFC won't have any supporting it. Also UFC will likely bring millions into the state, while the grand prix looks very nice on television.
The snoozer
Speaking of the Australian Grand Prix – or the "Ecclestone 50 Million" as it is also known in financial circles – it's still on this year, right?
The yak attack
Karmichael Hunt, speaking at a media conference the day after he was fined $2500 in court for cocaine possession, and an additional $30,000 by the Queensland Reds and the ARU, took the opportunity to explain that he didn't have a drug problem. Well, one way or another, that stuff must be long gone by now. The good thing is that the message is really getting across.
How far the cherry?
Indian captain M.S. Dhoni was quoted as saying that the lessons learnt from recent winless tours of both Australia and New Zealand had put them in good stead for the World Cup campaign. This should come as great news to St Kilda and Melbourne fans, as, going by that theory, both teams should be dangerously well prepared for their assault on the 2015 AFL premiership. Don't book any holidays for September, gang.
Bozo of the week
"I am not a specialist in fixture organisation," commented Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger recently, roundly denying something of which absolutely no one had accused him. However knowing and declaring your limitations is sometimes the preferable option. As opposed to Crystal Palace manager Alan Pardew, who, regarding Mile Jedinak being charged for elbow contact with West Ham's Diafra Sakho, commented: "I have seen worse incidents where nothing has happened so I will be surprised if something happens with this."
As he no doubt was, when the FA subsequently handed Jedinak a four-match ban.
Reader feedback
"Why not leave the dirt bike track on Etihad for the football season? There would easily be time to run a three-lap race after every goal is scored, while the crowd waits for the TV ads to finish and play to restart."
- Warren Dick, East Malvern
(Send feedback to: leapso@hotmail.com)