COLLINGWOOD 4.4 8.9 14.11 18.12 (120)
CARLTON 1.1 2.3 5.6 6.9 (45)
Goals: Collingwood: J Elliott 2, S Pendlebury 2, T Cloke 2, A Oxley, B Grundy, C Gault, D Swan, J Blair, J Crisp, J White, P Karnezis, S Dwyer, T Adams, T Goldsack, T Varcoe. Carlton: C Wood 2, D Armfield, D Ellard, K Simpson, T Bell.
Best: Collingwood: Pendlebury, Oxley, Crisp, Adams, Williams, Frost, Langdon, Elliott. Carlton: Rowe, Cripps, Docherty.
Umpires: Shaun Ryan, Brett Rosebury, Brendan Hosking.
Official Crowd: 75,910 at MCG.

On an evening when the achievements of a long-serving coach were celebrated, Carlton and Collingwood reminded all that results are almost entirely shaped by the talent of players, rather than coaches.

Rather than rising up for Mick Malthouse's milestone and giving the Pies a run, the Blues fell apart and confirmed the widespread suspicion that they belong at the foot of the ladder. If it could be said that ''they tried'', the question should be ''to do what?''

The Blues embarrassed Malthouse, the occasion, their supporters and the history of their storied club. They were disorganised, unskilled and bereft of purpose.

Carlton weren't terrible in contests – they won slightly more disputed ball in the first three quarters. But they had no capacity to keep possession, which is the major difference between the game of recent times and the one that the great John Nicholls played.

Unfortunately for the Magpies, the rubbish served up by the battling Blues will be the story from this match, rather than the excellence of this emerging young Collingwood side, which managed to demolish Carlton without A-graders in Steele Sidebottom and Ben Reid, and without utilising any of their four top 10 draft choices from the past two seasons.

What was most dispiriting about the Carlton meltdown was that they didn't perform what is perhaps the most defining trait of Malthouse-coached sides: defensive pressure. The tackling count was revealingly one-sided in Collingwood's favour. By the middle of the final quarter, Bryce Gibbs had not laid a single tackle. Kade Simpson, too, laid no tackles for three quarters. Gibbs, probably Carlton's premier player in terms of latent capacity, was poor in all facets of the game.

The Pies progressively built their lead – 21 points at quarter-time, which doubled at the main break, then 59 at three quarter-time and 75 at the end, by which stage, the MCG was half empy. Their profligacy prevented more records being shattered besides a coaching one.

Scott Pendlebury stood apart, if not in statistical terms, then in the sheer quality of his work. Nearly all of his disposals were to teammates' advantage. He was well assisted by the pugnacious Taylor Adams, and a surprising trio of young tall runners – Lion discard Jack Crisp, Anzac medallist Paul Seedsman (who was subbed out with a sore hip) and wingman Adam Oxley. Marley Williams, Jack Frost and Tom Langdon cleaned up in the back half, while the Collingwood forwards took advantage of their abundant supply. The Pies had an astonishing 15 separate goalkickers.

Sam Rowe was among the few Blues to give Malthouse what was required, performing well on a typically wasteful Travis Cloke. Chris Judd tried, but couldn't hurt the opposition. Key forward Lachie Henderson didn't register a touch in a half on Frost and was benched with an apparent hamstring. Mind you, Tony Lockett would have struggled with Carlton's sheer lack of competent forward entries.

The Blues opened with the expected intensity, but the resistance lasted no more than 10 minutes. The Pies soon asserted control. Little man Jarryd Blair scored their first from a mark, then Oxley — the game's most prolific ball gatherer in the first term — slotted their second from a free in a marking contest.

When Pendlebury arranged for Tyson Goldsack to unload a long bomb, the game had already taken on an ominous shape.

If anything, the second quarter was worse for Malthouse's current team, as his old side turned their significant edge in skill and talent into a 42-point lead. Carlton fans might be surprised to discover that, at half-time, their side actually had slightly more contested ball (71-65).

The Blues were trying. But they a) couldn't retain possession of the ball – this requires skills and composure; and b) couldn't prevent Collingwood from finding space and from slaughtering them outside the contest with precise ball use.

Of the many numbers that painted a grim picture for the Blues, none was more damning of their ineptitude than this: they could manage only three uncontested marks in the second quarter, compared to Collingwood's 28. It is rare to watch a team so bereft of run and spread.

Here's a strange thought: the Collingwood players honoured Malthouse's legacy. At least one side had some hallmarks of a Malthouse-coached side.

Votes:
Scott Pendlebury 8 
Jack Crisp 7
Adam Oxley 7
Marley Williams 6
Taylor Adams 6