"He must have forgotten I'm away," thought Sam Docherty, glancing briefly at his phone but deciding not to answer the incoming call. He was in northern Arizona at the time, eating Teppanyaki for dinner with his new Carlton teammates. He had hiked the Grand Canyon with them, ticking that off his bucket list. He had made it up Mount Humphreys, another ambition achieved. Docherty had been traded to the Blues from Brisbane just a few weeks before the pre-season camp, and felt like he was starting to get to know everyone. "I looked down and it was my brother calling, but I didn't want to make him pay for the call," he said. "I didn't even have that thought that if it mattered, he'd call back."

Docherty has been through a lot in his year-and-a-half with the Blues. Looking back, he thinks finding a way through it all has made him a more confident person, someone able to do what needs doing even when everything seems to be working against him. He has played with calmness and courage in the Carlton back line this year and will be doing it for some time yet, having finalised a three-year contract extension this week. "It's a bit of a relief and it's a bit of security," he said. "But I was never not going to stay. Not after everything that's happened."

First, Docherty needed to decide that he wanted to leave Brisbane at the end of 2013, less than two years after being drafted there. Wanting to get to Carlton was one thing; waiting for the trade to go through another. While he was away overseas he hurt his knee hiking, an injury that held him up for a few weeks at the start of last season. And before leaving for the US he woke up one morning with a puffy, drooping eye, looking like he had been punched. It was strange, and no one really seemed to know what it was, only that it seemed to have started in a tear duct.

Docherty was able to travel and was desperate to, knowing how quickly he would get to know his new teammates by living with them for two weeks. When he got home he had some more tests done, and was taken aback when told there was no sign of cancer: he hadn't realised there was any chance it could be that. The 21-year-old still needs to take medication for the condition, "some sort of rare immune defect or disease that I don't completely understand, but that the doctors know how to treat, which is good. I was fairly oblivious to how bad it could have been, but I think that's probably a good thing. As long as I'm taking the tablets, it's fine." He found out last year what happens when he's not: when he was told to take some time away from the medication last year Docherty relapsed a few days later, seeing double vision in the middle of a VFL match against Footscray and chasing two Jason Tutts around.

None of that mattered when the phone rang for a second time, though. This time, the call came through to Shane O'Sullivan, Carlton's football administration manager. This time Docherty's partner, Natalie, was on the other end. O'Sullivan tapped the recruit on the shoulder, and took him into another room. The news was shocking, and shattering: Sam's father, Eddie, had died suddenly after a heart attack.

Docherty remembers the instant tears, the not knowing what to think. He felt for his brother, home alone and helpless as he had tried to track people down. He felt for Natalie, having to tell him something like that, something so horrible. His mother wasn't home when it happened — she was in Melbourne helping one of Sam's aunts move house — and it was Sam who had to call them, to tell his mum what had happened.

He has no idea which words he used but can remember that one of the first things she asked was how he was. "I was so far away, and there was nothing I could do. To be saying what I was saying, and to be 24 hours away from her, was just very, very tough. She was hysterical, and I was her son and I couldn't be there to do anything for her."

It was a long night, but Docherty wasn't alone. Jarrad Waite, who lost his own father at a young age too, sat with him. He had at least one player in his room until morning, and more often eight or 10.  "I was still getting to know them, and they didn't really know me," said Docherty, who had more to get through from there: a restless flight back to Australia and a long drive back to his home, where he sat in the car out the front of his house for five minutes, wondering if it had really happened and what it would be like when he went in.

"None of the guys said too much, or talked about what had happened. But they came in and sat there and didn't let me be by myself. I was really thankful for that, and when I thought about it later on, it made me feel lucky that I'd decided to come to the club. If I'd stayed at Brisbane I would have had two weeks at home at the end of the season, then gone back up. The way it worked out I got to have five or six weeks of real quality time with Dad before he passed away, and that's a bit of a blessing. I have lots of memories and lots of good memories, and that's what I hold on to."

Docherty chose Carlton because it was a strong club that had just played finals, because Mick Malthouse was coach and because he thought the team could achieve big things. It was a bonus that he had grown up barracking for the club, just like his dad. In his short time there he has become known for his awareness, for not only noticing the things going on around him but knowing what to do about them. He wants the Blues to get better and he wants to be someone who helps make sure that happens. "I suppose when I came here I was looking at the club and wondering whether it would be the right place and the right fit for me," he said. "Now I look at it and think how can I help, what can I do, and what sort of impact can I make here?"