An angry rampage through a Manchester hotel that damaged property during the 2013 World Cup was the incident Andrew Fifita believed could end his representative career.
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Fifita feared that a red line had been put through his name when it came to higher honours after he smashed a table inside the Manchester hotel room towards the end of the Kangaroos' World Cup campaign.
At the core of Fifita's anger was the decision to go on the tour a day after his marriage to wife Nikkita. "It was just a build-up of things," Fifita said.
"I played the first game for Australia and I shook my head and said 'I waited all my life for that moment and now it has happened, but I've left the woman I love and want to be with for the rest of my life at home after a really big day in our lives."
His wife is due to give birth to their second child on the night of Origin I.
Despite earning his first Australian jersey during the World Cup tour of the UK, Fifita struggled to deal with being away from family for two months.
His wife and son Latu Jay joined him at the back end of the campaign, however there was already tension simmering given his time away.
"There was a big hype and a big come-down," Fifita said. "There are things that I don't want to bring up. My reaction was a bit of a backlash. The emotions took their toll on me big time. I had some built-up anger. It was a fair two months away.
"Leaving straight after our wedding, there was a bit of anger on both sides, both me and her. But I was probably more angry at myself for leaving my wife during such an important time. Leaving after your wedding day is a big deal and that was eating away at me and it all got the best of me. I don't really want to get into it but I was just really angry with myself. That was the main thing. It was a dream to play for the Kangaroos but deep down I was angry about that decision to leave my wife at such an important time in our lives."
Fifita has been battling depression, checking himself into rehab during the Christmas and new year holidays to isolate himself from friends and family.
While he admits he's still on the road to recovery, Fifita showed his playful side in a photo shoot with Fairfax Media during the team's camp in Coffs Harbour last week, volunteering to take a model-like shot that saw his teammates burst into laughter.
He's come a long way in just over six months, rewarded with an Origin recall from Blues coach Laurie Daley after missing last year's successful Origin triumph.
But Fifita admitted he felt his representative dreams might have been over given his antics in the UK during the 2013 World Cup campaign.
"I thought that was the end of me," Fifita said. "There was no talk about me, there was nothing. For me this season I had to go out there and make a statement and I have been. Unfortunately I got suspended just when I was finding form."
