1. There's already been the odd mention here and there, but it's worth bringing up again, just in case you've been unconscious all week: Essendon lost to St Kilda by 110 points.

2. But at least with that cold snap that's about to bring arctic winds, blustery rain, icy hail, rolling thunder and all-round misery, everyone can have a few days of knowing how it feels to barrack for the Bombers.

3. We needed a reminder of the simple pleasures of footy. So thank you, fat, topless, tattooed Port Adelaide fans. Your work here is done.

4. There's more people turn up on five minutes notice to talk nonsense in my mate's shed than they get at the Sheffield Shield final. But there's still something mischievously delicious about cricket telling footy to stick its round one blockbusters where the sun don't shine.

5. That's a real blow about the Court of Arbitration in Sport's case being heard in Sydney and not Switzerland. The Essendon drugs scandal has had pretty much everything already, but fondue would have been the cherry on top.

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

Six steps from Karmichael Hunt to Darth Vader:

1. Karmichael Hunt was a Bronco and why didn't he just stick with that but he couldn't knock back becoming a Sun which was never going to work and now he's a Red and a dobber and his old teammates reckon his name's rhyming slang just like ...

2. Eartha Kitt, who's officially been replaced in the Oxford dictionary of such merriment by Brad Pitt so don't say the only thing you ever learn reading the paper is that you didn't win the lotto or that politicians are dickheads and the world's in a heap of ...

3. Barney Rubble, Fred's little mate who was married to Betty and they had a little hard nut of a boy named Bam Bam which is Daniel Rich's nickname and it'd be a nice change to say something nice about Queensland footy but the Lions haven't got a ...

4. Scooby Doo, and that's two cartoon characters in a row and more than enough rhyming slang not to mention dogs that like snacks and hate ghosts and get around in bongo vans driven by blokes who wear cravats which brings to mind ...

5. Matt Preston, who's part of that god-awful TV obsession with shows about cooking and renovating and dead-set bogans swearing at each other and he's made his name by being a nuisance with a silly voice wearing a big suit, which sounds like ...

6. Darth Vader, who was a good guy who got seduced by the dark side and for a while it was hard to tell who he was playing for but he'll be remembered as one of the great bad guys and double agents of all time, just like Karmichael Hunt.

ARMCHAIR FOOTY BINGO

Some stuff that might happen this weekend, but in truth isn't nearly as likely as hearing that a GWS player spat at an opponent and thinking, "I bet it was Toby Greene":

– Jaded Essendon supporters latch on to Dawn Fraser's theme by asking for James Hird to be sent back to where he came from.

– The Bombers' hierarchy responds that with all of those legal fees and the impending contract payout there's no way they could afford to fly him to Paris again.

– Fears that the Ashes might cause footy fans who think the sling tackle debate is an issue of global importance to briefly extract their heads from their backsides are allayed when one of those surveys the AFL releases every second day reveals that 98 per cent of people would still rather watch Collingwood lose than Chris Rogers bat.

– Damien Hardwick's assessment that it's "Big Boy month" continues to bemuse analysts as none of the 127 TV shows that spend all week picking over every word uttered in the name of footy can establish a link between Richmond's immediate prospects and a chain of American barbecue restaurants specialising in saucy beef briskets.

WORD OF THE WEEK

Space (n): an interval of distance or time between two points, objects, or events. In football, said distance or time can relate to the gap between Geelong saying it's given Steven Motlop "some space" to consider his future, and the point when Motlop announces that his future will happen at another club.

FOOTYHEAD SAYS

From the bloke who's going back to the VFL to find a bit of form:

"This Thursday night footy business has caught quite a few out. Typical of the AFL - as if having to tip a game involving North Melbourne every week wasn't enough of a trap, they further complicate matters by scheduling footy on non-footy days and expect everyone to just jump to attention like there's nothing else going on in the world."