Sometimes, according to Ted Richards, it is possible to experience profound joy and sadness in almost exactly the same moment.

He cannot pretend that he is comfortable with his current lot in life and yet he is movingly sincere when he describes the change in fortune for his younger brother and Sydney teammate Xavier as a gift that has transcended the football ambitions of both men, born 10 years apart.

"I think of it as a highlight of my career," said the decorated 33-year-old of his 23-year-old brother's unpredictable journey to Friday night's preliminary final. "This is such a unique situation. There were times when we couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel for Xav ... and now the roles have been reversed in some respects.

"We're not lucky enough to be playing side by side but we are so fortunate to be able to have had this time together. I'm not quite comfortable with it but I'll be fine. I'm accepting of it but that doesn't mean I accept it's completely over for me.

"When I moved out of home Xav was nine and when I moved to Sydney he was 12. Up here, to be able to work hard together, train together, watch his games and his edits. If I'd been in Melbourne I couldn't have been a part of that."

The football fortunes of Ted and Xavier Richards remain one of the intriguing stories of the Sydney Swans' season. The older brother blames himself for his brother being typecast in his mould as a "dour defender", a dreaded role when Sydney's dominant NEAFL side tended to see the ball come into defence in only a handful of occasions during some outings this season. Before being promoted in round 18, Xavier had played just two games in almost four seasons.

The sliding doors moment involving both came around the time the battle weary Ted decided, after a broken cheekbone and yet another concussion, that he could not envisage summoning the mental toughness for another season beyond this one. Reserves coach Rhyce Shaw has been credited with suggesting Xavier be tried as a forward.

The player was in the final year of his contract since joining the club from the same 2013 rookie draft that secured all-Australian Dane Rampe at pick No.37 and believed come October he would be heading back to Melbourne. Instead he is now heading into his ninth straight senior game and on the verge of signing a two-year deal.

Xavier Richards replaced his brother in the side in round 18 after an eight-goal best afield performance in the NEAFL and in terms of scoreboard impact now ranks second behind Lance Franklin in Sydney's wins this season.

"I don't think he quite grasped the fact we were trying to help him," recalled Shaw, whose family knows a thing or two about brothers and premierships and the thin line between triumph and defeat. "It's not right it was my idea. It was a collaborative decision with John Blakey and Nick Davis and John Longmire involved. We just had a watershed moment and even though I don't think he realised at the start we were on his side, we knew we had to try something and that something changed something in him.

"He's just so athletic and so fast. And he kicked 26 goals in five games."

Sydney bosses Andrew Ireland and Tom Harley, along with Shaw, agree that the elder Richards' response to his demotion has been inspiring to watch. Instead of joining other reserve-playing senior-listed teammates in the rooms after games since being omitted in round 18, the 2012 All-Australian and premiership hero has stood away from the players with the other family members in the corner of the rooms.

"I don't think I've seen someone as supportive as Ted in all my time in footy," said Shaw. "It's probably a bit upsetting for him and it's not a perfect ending for Ted but he's tough and his leadership on the ground in the NEAFL means we've had another coach on the field. His brother really looks up to him and Ted has been brilliant."

Ted Richards was an emergency at the SCG last Saturday night but having fulfilled his obligations he watched the game with his wife Ella and his father Jeff and an uncle. Mother Joanna is in Dubai with one of the Richards sisters Lily, who has just given birth to her first child. The eldest Richards brother Jake, who lives in Indonesia, will travel to Melbourne for the preliminary final. (Another sister Stephanie is an architect in New York.)

When Ted Richards spoke to Fairfax Media on Tuesday he remained hopeful of a selection reprieve but was unsure, if unsuccessful, whether he would come to the MCG as a travelling emergency or, failing that, from where he would watch the game as a spectator.

"I'm not bitter," he said of the emotions he experiences standing in the background in the rooms, "I think there's times when you need to be a part of it and times when you need to take a step back."

Moving to Sydney in 2006 after four seasons with Essendon, and facing his own premature departure from football when dropped for seven games in 2010, Richards repeatedly and forcefully advised his brother not to judge himself against his peers until the end of his AFL life.

"There were Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays when Xav would come to us for dinner and being incredibly competitive like all good players he'd look at other players he'd started with and what they'd achieved," said Ted. "And it just happened that neither Heath Grundy or myself never seemed to get injured. It was frustrating for him because in terms of speed and endurance he is absolutely elite.

"It's something I was pretty good at but he's way ahead. And I'm more of a stress-head than Xav. I can really overthink things where he's pretty good at switching off."

Richards already works part-time at the Airlie Fund Management group where he will move full-time in retirement. Xavier's secured future with the Swans therefore comes as a personal fillip given the younger brother is the only family he, Ella and nine-month-old son Beau have in Sydney where they plan to remain at least for the short term.

Although the brothers' careers have overlapped at the Swans for four years, they have played just one game together and that was in unusual circumstances back in 2013. Xavier took another two years to achieve his second senior game and that saw him replace his concussed brother in the side in round17 last season against West Coast, turning in an indifferent performance against Jack Darling.

His third senior game again saw him again replace Ted in round 18 this year after an eight-goal best afield performance in the NEAFL. Since then Ted has played in the reserves and Xavier has not looked back. Ted now recalls that 2013 game together – a Friday night mid-season victory at the SCG over Carlton – with great fondness but described it as "the weirdest game ever".

"Mitch Morton – I really like Mitch but he was an unusual teammate – he decided 15 minutes before the game that he wasn't right to play. In all my time in footy I've never seen someone do that. It wasn't as though he was injured in the warm up he just felt stiff and sore.

"Then he tells Xavier he's going to take his place, which I don't really think was his call to make, and then the coach a few minutes later told Xav he was actually playing. The team erupted but it was so surreal because I'm thinking we're actually playing in 10 minutes we need to go out and play."

The elder Richards shook his younger brother's hand and then gave him a hug and then remembered thinking to himself: "That's enough, that's enough. There's enough going on and we've got a Friday night game against Carlton to play."

In fact Xavier spent the majority of the night wearing the substitute's vest and the brothers enjoyed less than 15 minutes together on the SCG.

But Ted told his teammates in his retirement speech that he would be forever grateful for that 2013 memory. He has not fully accepted the brothers will not enjoy a fairytale ending to the 2016 season. While realistically his best opportunity would seem to involve an unforeseen injury to Grundy or Aliir Aliir, Richards told Fairfax Media he planned to push his case on Wednesday both on the training track and afterwards in a private conversation with John Longmire.

"Mum and Dad will be disappointed if it's just that one game we had," he said, "because Dad only got the call five minutes beforehand from Dennis Carroll telling them Xav was playing. There's a bitter sweetness of course for Dad and the rest of the family about these finals.

"Some people might be sad or annoyed at the way it's turned out but I see it as a huge positive that if it turns out that's the only time we played together at least we had that game."