He was fat and he knew it. Problem was, he didn't care.

"I knew I was overweight, but I lost a bit of the care factor and didn't have the motivation to play footy any more," Leilua said, reflecting on a tumultuous year in Newcastle before linking with Ricky Stuart and the Raiders midway through last season.

"I was just going out there and playing the game for the sake of it. It wasn't great. I wasn't enjoying my footy. I wasn't enjoying my life. I didn't do much, I was just sitting around at home bored off my face. I wasn't enjoying life."

It started with the horrific injury to Alex McKinnon, a heartbreaking ordeal that united the club in its darkest hour.

But among the pain, no one could fathom the long-term impact it would have on the club, which according to Leilua, began to deteriorate after Wayne Bennett packed his bags bound for Brisbane at the end of 2014.

"Well, 2013 was great – Wayne was there and he had set rules in place," the in-form centre told Fairfax Media.

"But after Alex McKinnon went down, it changed from then. Everyone was down from that moment. Yeah, it destroyed the club. Mentally, it destroyed a lot of players. So many of us were close to him, including myself."

But for Leilua, it wasn't until Bennett's hasty exit did his life begin to spiral out of control.

He lost the motivation and the passion for the sport, all the while falling further and further out of love with the club he once considered a home.

"​He was gone man," Leilua said of Bennett.

"He didn't say anything to us, he just said he was gone. He had family issues so you can't hold that against a man. But I knew when Wayne left I had to leave. He signed me and I wanted to play for him. The new coach, Stoney [Rick Stone], he wanted me to come in early [for pre-season] but I had an option to stay and have a break and I wanted to have that break.

"But he didn't end up giving me that break and he got mad. Things just fell apart from there. I eventually switched clubs and found myself so happy here. It wasn't until I came down here and saw something special that I clicked back into gear."

Leilua doesn't reflect on his time at Newcastle with many fond memories, bitter about the way his time ended with the club.

His relationship with Stone was doomed from the start, falling out before the season began.

Leilua became disillusioned with the organisation, adamant different players were handed special treatment depending on their age and where they grew up playing footy.

The 24-year-old, who reached the grand final in his maiden season with the Sydney Roosters in 2010, never contemplated throwing in the towel, adamant he wasn't "a quitter".

But the raw talent and incredible strength he has shown on the edge for Canberra this season was nowhere to be seen under Stone at the Knights.

Despite being under contract at the Knights until the end of 2016, Leilua used a clause in his contract to leave Newcastle for Canberra at the end of the 2015 season.

The St George Illawarra junior was adding little value to the Knights and made it clear he wanted out, eventually granted a release to flee for the nation's capital midway through last year.

"The culture there wasn't great," Leilua said of the Knights.

"I don't know what you can say. The younger boys didn't get the same treatment as the older boys. If you want to be fair around the park and have the same kind of rules, it has to go through the whole team and the whole club. Some players would get different treatment and that was the sad thing that I didn't like about Newcastle.

"The people there wanted their own people and I guess that's what happens in footy. You move on to different clubs and now I have found a place I can call home."

Fairfax contacted Newcastle Knights CEO Matt Gidley for comment but he did not return phone messages.

When Leilua arrived for pre-season training at the Knights last year, his weight had skyrocketed to a massive 116 kilograms.

That's 11 kilograms more than what he will carry out onto AAMI Park for Saturday night's preliminary final against the Melbourne Storm.

His body transformation was plastered all over the newspapers and he was heavily criticised for allowing his body to reach such a concerning shape.

But the headlines did nothing but reiterate what he could see in the mirror.

"I already knew [I was overweight]. You know your body," he said.

"The criticism I got used to hurt back in the Roosters days. People bring you down so quick and it hurts. But I'm used to it.

"I left it in the back of my head and just kept playing footy. Sometimes I ate too much when I was there. It wasn't the environment I needed to be in, and I wanted to leave. It wasn't an environment for me anymore."

Whatever Stuart has done to try and make Leilua feel comfortable in the Raiders environment has worked wonders.

He has arguably been the best centre of the competition in 2016, forming a lethal combination with winger Jordan Rapana down the Raiders' right edge.

His stunning form reversal sees him on the brink of Kangaroos selection, crediting his change in attitude away from the paddock for what he has been able to produce on it.

"They say what happens off the field reflects on your game on the field – and that's what has happened for me here," Leilua said.

"My life off the field is amazing. It's fantastic. And my missus has helped me a lot. That's the key thing about this. And the boys have helped me as well. We all get along so well. Let's see how far that takes us."