Never, ever, these days, is anyone, ever ... "humiliated", "horrified", "ashamed", "agonised", "appalled", "disgusted", "distressed", "dismayed", "peeved" or "p----ed-off" by the results we see right in front of our very eyes.

No. "Disappointed" is always the go.

Tell 'em, coach Michael Cheika, how you felt after the 40-point drubbing at the hands of the All Blacks: "Really disappointing."

Captain Stephen Moore: "It wasn't good enough for us tonight. Really disappointed."

Expressing disappointment is the go-to word, because when you 'fess up to it being disappointing, or acknowledge we are feeling disappointment, you manage to get away from any assessment of your own performance. You make a pre-emptive expression of regret as to what happened – so everyone can bloody well settle down – while magically escaping any assessment of why it happened.

See, when it is disappointing, you escape all culpability, and when you're feeling disappointed it connotes that you've been let down and we should feel sorry for you, preferably deeply sorry that you're suffering disappointment!

There is a lot of it about.

After the Olympics, the president of Cycling Australia, Malcolm Speed, was clear: "The cycling results in Rio have been very disappointing. We had a lot of bad luck and were blitzed by the Great Britain team. We performed below expectations and everyone involved is disappointed with the outcomes."

How 'bout you Opals?

"It's disappointing," Aussie coach Brendan Joyce said.

And you beach volleyball players?

"It's definitely a disappointing result for us, we would have wanted to have played our best," Mariaf del Solar said.

My point? I'm with reader Stan la Vin, who wrote me a note on the subject.

Being disappointed is a cop-out. Tell us something we don't know.

At half-time, Cheika did not tell the Wallabies, "Boys, I'm really disappointed with how you're playing and Moorey is really disappointed too." He gave a far franker assessment.

Australian sport needs a bit more of that same frankness in post-match responsibility taking.

The whole thing is – and you know I had to finish like this – disappointing.

Greg Norman: Take it away, son

No. And again I say NO. Wild tickles couldn't make Greg Norman tell of just how instrumental he was in putting Malcolm Turnbull in touch with Donald Trump after the latter's election victory in November – and it is not even fair to ask my client that question. You little people must understand that at the level these things are done, it's very much a "Secret Squirrel," arrangement and you lot couldn't even begin to understand.

Look, I am not even happy for you to ask what my client thinks of the President-elect. But ... alright ... just this once and just because, the story has SOMEHOW leaked – Greg and I will never know from where – I will let my client write a little about it, in all humility, in Newsweek.

But don't tell anyone! So go on, Greg, you may as well start with how, while the rest of the world – including the candidate himself – was clearly completely STUNNED at the Trump victory against all odds, you saw it coming all along.

Oh, and throw in how President Barack Obama, the master global politician of his age, had no idea about how to help Hillary Clinton, but you could see that clearly, too. You could have told Obama, if he'd just asked you, but he never did. Fool. Go on, now. Tell 'em.

"I ... told Donald ... 10 days before the election, that he was going to win. Obama's messaging was wrong and just reinforced that those wanting change would get it with Clinton. In other words, the problem was not the problem – the attitude to the problem was the problem."

Famous friends: Greg Norman. Photo: Getty Images

That clear? Great. Me neither. But I told you: Secret Squirrels get it, and that is the whole point. That kind of talk makes perfect sense to those who are presidents, or who have won two majors or more.

But, go on, Greg, because it will give the Australian media paroxysms of pleasure, you can also give the little Australians a little bit of insight into just how often you are in touch with the President-elect and how you most certainly don't think he is a misogynistic thug, a bellicose bully who boasts of how he forces himself on women.

Take it away, son, and don't forget to try to imply that you can barely get the next President of the USA off the blower, as he clearly has nothing better to do than share his plans with you.

"I have spoken to Donald on numerous occasions since the election and I think he will surprise many with what he will do with the presidency, but not himself. He has a clear vision."

We know. He's going to build a Wall! And stop the Mexicans! And the Muslims! But ... say, Greg, could you talk a little of what the Australian leader thinks of all this?

"I will say that I have spoken to the Prime Minister of Australia, Malcolm Turnbull, and he is on board with wanting to see President-elect Trump succeed. I think and hope that is the position of most of the world's leaders."

Oh, come on Greg, you don't just "think and hope" that, 'fess up, man. You KNOW that.

Vladimir Putin and Theresa May are in your ear every other day, and Kim Jong-un has you on speed-dial.

All the world leaders want to talk to you all the time. Why wouldn't they? If you're not the most extraordinarily well-connected booger who's ever lived, I don't know who is. And thanks, mightily, for sharing just a little of that with us, because I know it goes against your grain.

AFL and NRL grand finals 2016 Kiss of Death to Melbourne Storm and Sydney Swans

Okay, I gave in. So many people wanted to know who I – hear me and fear me, for I am the Kiss of Death – picked for the grand finals, that I felt I must commit. In my bones, I said I felt it would be the Melbourne Storm in the league, and the Swans in the AFL.

(I did it again. Cronulla won in the League, and the Bulldogs triumphed in the AFL.)

Hail Cometti

I've never had the pleasure of meeting Dennis Cometti, but was honoured to write the foreword of a book of his, a collection of his best quotes, a few years back. Last year's Aussie Rules Grand Final was, if you can believe it, his final call, as he hung up the microphone.

For what it's worth – plenty – my all time favourite Comettism ever, occurred circa 2007, when Melbourne were playing Collingwood:

Commentator Gerard Healy: "Word is this guy is the most reliable kick for goal in the side. They say down at Collingwood if you had to have someone kicking for your life, Tarkyn Lockyer would be the man ..."

Cometti: "I'd prefer my mum."

(Pause)

Cometti: "Not a great footballer, but at least she'd care ..."

BOOM! Best ever.

And here, for the last time, are a few more pearls.

"Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona." "The Dockers defence is in disarray. Everybody wants to be Gladys Knight, nobody wants to be the Pips." "Kangaroos on the attack but big Sav couldn't turn. He looked like Pavarotti on a skateboard." "When the Saints kicked that goal I was watching those Bulldog defenders and they just fanned out like a group of crazed Amway salesmen." "Look at Long. That's a sweat! Like Marlon Brando eating Thai food!" "There's Koutoufides. More vowels than possessions today."

Go well, Dennis. There'll never be another like you.

Broadcast royalty: Denis Cometti. Photo: Pat Scala

Something in the water?

Ireland beat the All Blacks? Of course they did. After 28 attempts over the last 100 years or so, the mighty men in green put the Kiwis to the sword for a fabulous 42-29 victory.

It continued an extraordinary year and a bitty of simply stunning results that included the Japanese rugby team beating the Springboks, Leicester City football club winning their first top flight championship since forever, Hibernian football club winning the Scottish FA Cup for the first time since 1902, Western Bulldogs winning their first flag since 1954, Cleveland Cavaliers bringing the city its first title of any kind since 1964, Cronulla winning the NRL comp for the first time since forever, the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series for the first time since 1908! Where is it all going to end?

What they said

Meredith Burgmann, at the launch of Larry Writer's book Pitched Battle, on being arrested numerous times leading to the anti-apartheid campaign against the all-white touring 1971 Springboks which disrupted the tour and led to the cancellation of the South African cricket series later that year: "My parents backed me. Mum said, 'I don't mind you getting arrested ... but not for bad language', and I never was." Wonderful!

Cleveland Indians Manager Terry Francona on pitcher Trevor Bauer suffering a drone related injury: "It's pretty self-explanatory. We've all, at some point or another ... had a drone-related problem." Don't ... move. Not a muscle, hear? She's watching. One smirk, one snigger and you are in deep shit!

The late LA Times sportswriter Jim Murray: "Arnold Palmer on a golf course was Jack Dempsey with his man on the ropes, Henry Aaron with a three-and-two fastball, Rod Laver at set point, Joe Montana with a minute to play, AJ Foyt with a lap to go and a car to catch."

US swimmer Ryan Lochte on what if Michael Phelps didn't swim: "My career would definitely be different. I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there." I know. I hadn't heard of him either, until the story broke about him being held-up at gunpoint – a story that proved to be entirely fabricated. #LochmessMonster.

Robert Allenby responding to people on Twitter comparing him to Ryan Lochte, in terms of telling porky pies: "So nice that all you w---ers put me in the class as Lochte. He is an amazing swimmer and GOLD medallist."

Cate Campbell on her own performance in the Olympic final of the 100m freestyle: "I think that the world got to witness possibly the greatest choke in Olympic history a couple of nights ago. I really needed someone to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre there."

Nick Kyrgios at the Shanghai Open, after tanking, in response to a press conference question as to whether spectators deserved an honest effort: "What does that even mean? I'm good at hitting a tennis ball at the net. Big deal. I don't owe them anything. If you don't like it, I didn't ask you to come watch. Just leave."

Bernard Tomic to a heckling spectator at the US Open. "Suck my balls. I will put my balls in your mouth. I will give you some money to make you feel good. Peasant." Charmed, I'm sure. Precisely the kind of stuff Kitty Chiller rightly did not want to be part of the Australian Olympic team.

Eddie Hayson on whether offering free sex to NRL footballers at his brothel, Stiletto, was a way of getting inside information out of them, to guide his bets: "No, it was a way of promoting my business ... word of mouth is a very powerful tool ..." Brilliant! So, the footballers go back to the dressing room, and say "Boys. You've GOT to get down to Stilettos! I went there last night and it was just great!" Sounds very likely indeed.

Sports news report on 2GB in September: "Blake Austin's hand injury could be the Raiders' Achilles heel ..." Shades of President Abraham Lincoln noting of one of his Civil War Generals, who always sent his reports from his "Headquarters in the Saddle," that "his problem is, he has his headquarters where his hindquarters should be."

Penrith's Tyrone Peachey on the effect being dropped to reserve grade mid-season had on him: "It was a massive spark up the behind ..." We tried that once in McNeil House in Fourth Form, after baked beans for dinner. It did not end well.

Robert Allenby on the mugging/drugging/embarrassingly transparent piece of made-up nonsense: "That was by far the lowest point. Just the attention that it caused. I still stick by my story because detectives and myself know and even today it's the same story. People don't even know that the guy's in jail for what happened to me in Hawaii. At the end of the day, I've done a lot more good than bad. I haven't killed anyone ..."

Team of the Year

Robert Allenby. It wasn't him, don't you get it? And he wasn't even there on the night! Oh, get nicked, the lot of yers!

Turia Pitt. Completed the Ironman World Championships in Hawaii five years after doctors told her she would never run again. Her ability to inspire knows no bounds.

Chloe McCardel. Set a new record for the number of English Channel swims by an Australian – 20.

Almandin. Winner of the 156th Melbourne Cup. Admit it – you'd forgotten that by the next day, hadn't you?

Inspirational figure: Turia Pitt. Photo: Andy Zakeli

Chicago Cubs. Their first World Series win in 108 years sees them join Leicester City, the Cleveland Cavaliers, Western Bulldogs and Cronulla Sharks in a remarkable string of teams who have nailed huge triumphs in 2016 after long droughts. Is it the Chinese year of the Flying Pig?

Ireland. Beat the All Blacks to broke rugby's most famous and celebrated losing streak, going back to 1905. There was a lovely thing going around on the internet, shortly afterwards: "Let that be a lesson to you all. NO ONE beats Ireland 29 times in a row."

RIP. The Greatest. Passed away last June.

Andrew "Fuzz" Purchas. Was awarded the OAM on Australia Day for "service to rugby union and to the promotion of social inclusion for LGBTI people." The founder of Australia's first gay rugby club, the Sydney Convicts, he was also instrumental in bringing the Bingham Cup to Sydney in 2014 and has been the driving force behind man anti-homophobia initiatives in sport.

RIP Rebecca Wilson. She was a great sports columnist, a devoted mother – endlessly proud of her two fine sons – a committed wife and engaging friend. The news of her death to breast cancer shocked all of us. Always courageous in her views, I will remember her for her piercing penetration, frequently getting right to the nub of the matter in just a few punchy paragraphs. The Herald sends deepest condolences to her family.

Twitter: @Peter_Fitz