Living in America in the late 1970s for a year, the documentary of the time that attracted most comment was called Scared Straight. It was a social program working with juveniles who had come to the attention of the criminal justice system, and the idea was to take them to prison for a day, have them look at life there and talk with hardcore prisoners about the daily grind. Now, Sonny Jim, do you still want to steal cars, deal drugs, commit petty assaults? Because this is where you're heading if you keep going on the path you're on. Or are you now scared straight?
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I am not sure what it did to them, but it terrified me and the worst crime I had engaged in at that point was littering.
The climactic moment came when the cameras panned to the one youth who, nearing the end of the visit, still retained some sass, some insolence in his bearing, demonstrating that he was not cowed.
Cue the largest, hardest, meanest prisoner of the lot, walking up to him, bringing his face within two centimetres and purring that in this prison they liked "purty" boys like him, so he'd fit right in. Bringing his face one centimetre closer still, he snarls, "I could bite your nose off and spit it in your face, before the guards could get to me".
All the sass went, all the insolence drained.
I don't advocate it for Oz, but I'd love to see the principle applied to concussion. This week, the supermodel wife of 40-year-old New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, Giselle Bundchen, was being interviewed on television and noted in passing: "He had a concussion last year. He has concussions pretty much every ... I mean, we don't talk about it. But he does have concussions. I don't really think it's a healthy thing for anybody to go through."
Tom? Do what I did. Go to Richmond, Virginia. Look up, John Hilton, the hardest, meanest linebacker of the lot, with the Pittsburgh Steelers back in the early 70s. And see what is left of him now, after all those concussions took their toll. And Ms Bundchen? You go, too. And talk to Hilton's wife, about what it was like when, in his mid-50s his behaviour became erratic, his temper uncharacteristically violent, his ability to function fading with every year, until he got to the human wreck you will see before you.
Perhaps you could both go and see the widow of Ray Easterling, Mary-Anne. Ray was one of hundreds of NFL players who have taken their lives. She doesn't live far away. Talk to her about what her life was like with him, and since.
In fact, there is a whole community of NFL wrecks, and their long-suffering wives, or widows, in the area - drawn there by the brain health specialists who congregate in that city. Talk to any of them, and ask them if the glory years they knew, make up for their endless sufferings now.
And then, Tom, see if you really want to continue getting regular concussions into your 40s. If you're not scared straight, you bloody well should be.
Great effort: Konrad Hurrell scores the match-winning try last weekend. Photo: Getty Images
Hats off to a Titanic effort
Listen, as you would appreciate, here at TFF the only thing we like bagging more than rugby league is soccer, all while pretending that rugby counts for anything at all in the larger scheme of things. But this week, something different. For - ah, sing it with me - I come not to bury Caesar, but to praise him. Specifically, I want to praise the Gold Coast Titans and the way they played against competition leaders Melbourne Storm last weekend.
I have previously noted that so strong is the culture at the Titans that Jarryd Hayne is the lucky one to be playing with them, not versa-vicky. And that culture was to the fore on Sunday. In an extraordinarily see-sawing match, about four times, the Storm buried the Titans, jumped on their coffin lid, piled on the dirt and danced on their graves ... only for the Titans to burst from the earth, still alive!
Time and again, the Titans scored in the corner when it was obvious to everyone else they were beaten. Time and again you wondered why they were defending their own line so bitterly, when it was obvious to everyone who knew about football that the Storm had this in the bag anyway. After all, the Storm had Cameron Smith, Cooper Cronk and Billy Slater firing on all cylinders, while most of the Titans were more anonymous than a wrong number, and the only player I really knew anything about was Hayne. But the Titans didn't care!
As a matter of fact, when Hayne went off late in the second half, the Titans barely blinked. There was too much work to do, and, anyway, it was not about Hayne it was about the whole team. Though the Titans were down by eight points with six minutes to go, they clawed their way back with two fabulous tries, the last of which came when centre Konrad Hurrell went over in the corner, with half-a-dozen Storm players on his back. Fabulous! All-up, a great match and a triumph of a truly champion team.
We now resume our normal service of mercilessly bagging rugby league, just on principle.
A sad sight for the country game
Speaking of which, country rugby league really might be buggered. One of my spies attended the match between the South West Robins of Tamworth and Wee Waa, a fortnight ago, to note that there was no juniors playing in the lead-up, and no reserve grade teams. The only bright point was the curtain-raiser of Wee Waa ladies versus South West Robins ladies. When the main event started, he noted two things about the Robins. Firstly he didn't recognise any of them. Secondly, there were only 11 of them on the field.
"Who are they?" he asked a supporter.
"They all come from Quirindi," he was told. Ah, of course. Quirindi pulled out of the second division comp this year, and these poor bastards had to go to the Robins to get a game. When my spy left, halfway through the second half, the Robins were being slaughtered, 50-24. He still doesn't know who won, doesn't care, and won't go again.
Champions: Chelsea FC took out the EPL in style. Photo: Getty Images
What They Said...
Australia's first professional rugby referee, Wayne Erickson, on Twitter, expands on the virtues of being a whistle-blower: "Become a referee - travel the world, have the best seat in the house, meet nice people and penalise them ..."
Richmond player, Dustin Martin, tweets in response to claims that his manager was shopping him around to other clubs: "More fake news on TV tonight on me and my manager by a footy journo ... real fake news ... no idea." What exactly is "real fake news"? Discuss.
Portuguese Eurovision Song Contest winner Salvador Sobral: "I do not feel like a national hero, that's for Ronaldo." Speaking of which, who is Australia's national hero at the moment? No one person springs to mind, but can we put Jason Day in the Top 10, yes? And Sally Pearson? And for some of us, Noel Pearson?
David Warner warns Cricket Australia that it really might face strike bowlers, strike batsmen, strike fielders and even strike wicket-keepers if it doesn't offer the players a better deal, for they really will take industrial action: "If it gets to the extreme they might not have a team for the Ashes."
Cesc Fabregas after Chelsea won the Premier League: "Football is f-----g unbelievable."
Daly Cherry-Evans doesn't want to answer questions about Origin after the loss to the Broncos: "Origin is not a thought or an afterthought even."
Cronulla chief executive Lyall Gorman said the club's leadership group will soon convene to debate the merits of scrapping Mad Monday: "You've got to protect the players, the club and the game. You need to assess the merit and value of these things. We'll sit down as a leadership group and do that ... personally, I'm not a fan of the dress-up stuff."
Dockers coach Ross Lyon on a turvy-topsy game that saw his mob win after the siren: "I left, I got to the bottom of the lift. There was nothing I could do. I just wasn't sure how far out [he was] or how wide the angle was. What was it - 30 metres, 45 degrees?"
Gil McLachlan on what will happen to the ground in Shanghai once the AFL leaves town: "They'll have the best frisbee turf in the world."
Virender Sehwag not happy with Glenn Maxwell: "We always knew that when Maxwell fires, then he can win the match on his own. But he didn't fire in eight or nine games. That is a big disappointment, especially since he's experienced, having played for Australia's Test and ODI teams. He didn't take the responsibility as a captain and didn't perform for Kings XI Punjab."
Baseballer Mallex Smith on why he decided to choose 0 as his number: "New team. New look. Different spice. I feel like zero is a weird number and I feel like I'm kind of a weird cat. I'm going zero."
Senator Nick Xenophon on the Ben Johnson gambling ad: "It is just wrong on so many levels, glorifying a drug cheat, tying it in with gambling and promoting it to kids in a light-hearted way." What he said.
Will Hopoate: "We don't live in a perfect world and I can really understand where the club is coming from putting them in my shoes being in a key position as fullback. It's something I've been churning over in my mind constantly and one I'm comfortable with. In a little sense I'm living my dream and as much as I'd love not to play on Sundays I respect the club's decision for me to do so."
Brett Kimmorley, on the tragic death of his wife, Sharnie, from brain cancer a few months ago, and how he copes with raising four daughters on his own: "I don't look ahead very far. I look day-to-day. I roughly know where I'm going, but it's like, 'oh well, why stress, why worry about things?' Sort of be here and the now for the moment." He was promoting Beanie for Brain Cancer Week.
Team of the Week...
Titans. Bloody hell they were good. Beat the Storm. (See item.)
Eleni Glouftsis. Will become the first woman to officiate as a field umpire in a senior AFL match in tomorrow's match between Essendon and West Coast.
Ice Dogs. The next home game for Sydney's favourite ice hockey team is May 27 against the Canberra Brave at Macquarie Ice Rink. More info at icedogs.com.au.
Melissa Procter. Devoted sports fan has stage four cancer. There is a June 2 fundraiser for her with Ben Fordham as MC. Auctions, prizes, food, all with the aim to help Melissa and her family on the harrowing journey ahead. Go to https://goo.gl/UsUYFc for more details.
N'Golo Kante. Buy of the year in the EPL has won the league in successive years with different clubs.
Tom Pembroke. The one-time Joeys boarding master and St Pius teacher, who has raised $110,000 for various charities by long-distance swims, is at it again, about to attempt a double channel swim, starting from England, touching the shore of France, and swimming back, to raise yet more funds for a young woman in Armidale with cancer. Bravo.
Will Power. Won his first race of the year in the IndyCar Series.
Daniel Ricciardo. First podium finish of the year with a third place at the Spanish Grand Prix.
Getting help: Greg Inglis took the brave step to get himself right this week. Photo: Getty Images
Greg Inglis. The Kangaroo, Queensland and Rabbitohs star has checked himself into mental health facility, observing the first rule for those with depression and the like - asking for help. Bravo to him, for making it public.
Dan Vickerman Research Scholarship. Launched by Rotary Club of Bowral, where the late Wallaby's parents live, the idea is to raise money to research ongoing struggles faced by elite sports athletes when their sporting careers are over. You can help by going to https://goo.gl/jjOKnb
Kate McLoughlin. The respected chef de mission of the 2016 Australian Paralympic Team has been appointed to the role again for the Tokyo 2020 team, more than three years out. She is a good egg, and led the Paralympic team to a top-five finish.
