It was a private mantra that evolved out of work Cotchin did with Ben Crowe, who 12 months ago became a key mentor for the Richmond captain and coach Damien Hardwick.

"Yes, very true," Cotchin said of the motto.

Cotchin adopted it late in the season for the finals but it emerged as a theme that defined a mentality about the way he was already playing, rather than the opposite where the motto creates the mindset which leads to playing a certain way. Cotchin had been playing that way for the second half of the year, being more demonstrative in the way he played and performed as a leader.

Leigh Matthews recognised it in his game in the last two months, when he observed in the more overtly physical and aggressive nature of Cotchin's play a keen likeness to Michael Voss.

Cotchin came up with the theme but furthered the notion that had permeated the coaches and the team this year of a philosophy of how a player could be something for others. The motto reflected the theme of selflessness and the most important aim in a game being to improve others. "That is part of my growth as a person and as a leader it hasn't been about me this year and sometimes it takes time to learn that," Cotchin said.

Crowe was on the initial selection panel that helped appoint Hardwick and has long worked with Hardwick's close friend, Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson, about leadership and, for want of a better term, life coaching.

Hardwick smiled when asked about Crowe. He was not sure what to call him or what he did for him and Cotchin, but said it was varied and valuable.

Crowe, as a founder and director of athlete story-telling website Unscript'd, also works with international athletes such as Andre Agassi, whom he got to know well when Agassi was still playing and Crowe was a Nike executive. Crowe continues to work with Agassi in a mentoring role.

He had worked with Richmond president Peggy O'Neal and 12 months ago was asked to do some work with Hardwick, who had arrived back from Harvard where he learned the value of embracing the idea of imperfection and working with it. He understood he wanted others to work with mentors on how to improve as a leader.

Shortly afterwards, a few days after Neville Crowe's funeral, Crowe also began working with Cotchin. Many of the themes that have been spoken about publicly late this year germinated in these discussions between Crowe, Cotchin and Hardwick. The four themes guiding the year were connection, authenticity, vulnerability and story telling.

Hardwick and Cotchin in the finals, in particular, spoke of their frailties. Cotchin said the difference in him as a player and leader came about when he realised he had to stop trying to be perfect.

Hardwick said when he was awarded the Coaches Association coach of the year award that the biggest change for him occurred when he realised last year he was "the biggest problem" and understood he needed to change.

The word connection, which assistant coach Blake Caracella said had become part of the vernacular among the playing and coaching group, was critical to the trust and bond among the players. That connection is only really properly forged by players - and coaches - talking about their own story/=.