How has golf done this? How has it avoided sledging? Why do we never see the throwing of clubs? Why aren't their huge and garish logos on the putting green when they would clearly be worth a fortune? How is it, well into the modern age, as superb to watch as it ever was, as romantic, as enthralling, with still so many characters wall-to-wall ... and the only difference is that it just so much richer?

How have they pulled this off?

SING OUT STRONG

The scene was set on the Saturday night before Easter, in the Covent Garden Hotel, Haymarket, as the patrons try their luck on the karaoke stage. It is joyous, raucous, and maybe a bit drunken, with much singing along and many raucous shouts.

But, hush now. Our next singer is a young fellow called Jake, who wears a Rabbitohs jersey, and has the genetic condition Down syndrome.

"Sing," he tentatively begins the famed Carpenters song, "sing a song."

"Sing ...out loud

"Sing out ... strong ...

"Sing, sing a song

"Make it simple ... . to last

"Your whole ... life ... looooong ..."

Sensing he is faltering just a little, the crowd bursts in . . .

"DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT

"GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE

"ELSE TO HEAR ...

"Just SINGGG, sing a SONGGGG ..."

And so it goes, with Jake proudly finishing loudly to rapturous applause and cheers. My spy says, "the smile on Jake's face was priceless."

Gotta love this city.

BLANK EXPRESSIONS

You will likely recall the Herald's report of the confrontation between Australian Olympic Committee boss John Coates, and the man who had been agitating to have him replaced in that role, Australian Sports Commission chief John Wylie. When the latter extended his hand at a sports event early in the year, Mr Coates kept his own hand firmly in his pocket and fired back: "I don't shake hands with liars. I don't shake hands with c---s."

Yes, I know. Well, we never!

Still, it does bring to mind a TFF yarn, from well over a decade ago. See, at that time, TFF was told, there was a nice Sri Lankan bloke working as a waiter at a restaurant down at the Rocks who simply couldn't understand all the hoo-ha when one of the Australian Test cricketers had called Sri Lankan players, "black c---s". Bewildered, he told workmates he could see nothing at all wrong with calling a person a "black cat." Would they mind if he called them called him a "white cat"? No. So what was the problem?! It was at this point that in a quiet moment his workmates asked him, gently, just why he thought the word used was "cats"? Well, the Sri Lankan replied, quite reasonably still mystified as to why they couldn't see it too in the papers they had always quoted the player using the words "black c---" so what else could it be? OK. As gently and carefully as they could, they explained what had actually been said, at which point their newly enlightened colleague was so totally outraged he could barely think straight.

FAILURE TO CONNECT

Roy and HG, frankly, couldn't have said it better - which is saying something. In the course of the St George Illawarra-Cronulla match, we saw the Dragons fullback Josh Dugan go into a tackle from the opposite angle to his teammate, Russell Packer, a big powerful man whose right elbow came swinging round and inadvertently connected flush with Dugan's jaw. Dugan went out like a light, lying face down on the turf for as long as a minute, before slowly coming to. I knew it was concussion. You knew it was concussion. Everyone who saw it knew it was concussion, everyone bar one.

"I think it was a jaw injury not a head injury," Dragons coach "Mary" McGregor said in the press conference afterwards. "That's the report I got back in the box ... I've got Kurt Mann there [on the bench] so I've got a guy to put on straight away so it's not a big deal. He said it was his jaw so I back the medical staff there."

You can't make that stuff up! He said that! He really said that! All those times you've seen those slow-mos of boxers going at each other, with one boxer unleashing a vicious right hook, left cross, swinging haymaker that connects flush on his opponent's jaw, sending him straight to the canvas? You probably thought it was a KO. Only Mary McGregor knew better. Nuh. Hit him on the jaw, don't you see? Couldn't be a KO! Must be flu! Must be food poisoning! Must be something like that! Couldn't be concussion, could it?

A QUESTION OF PROFESSIONALISM

There are things that come out of Melbourne that I just don't get. One of them is Mick Gatto. Who is this bloke, apart from "a colourful identity," that the media fawn over him so? Who is he that, it is even conceivable that a football club might engage him, as two former employees of Essendon credibly claim, and Gatto confirms against management denials, to help solve their problems over the supplements scandal? It is inconceivable that an NRL club would think the solution might lie with such figures. (And yes, I know you are thinking of Eddie Hayson popping up in so many league scandals, but Hayson is hardly in the same league, and it is not as if any clubs would think he might be the solution to the problems, in any case.)

So who, at Essendon approached Gatto, Sam Newman asked the man himself, yesterday?

"It wouldn't be very professional of me to divulge that," Gatto replied.

THEY SAID

English opener Alastair Cook, says if not for his timely colossal innings, he might well have been given the deep-six: "I always feel I have the backing of the selectors, but you have to deliver the goods. I hadn't done that on this tour. I would have been entitled to be dropped."

Carlos Hyde from the 5-10 San Francisco 49ers, this week: "Minus our record, we're a really good football team."

Mohammed Anas, a footballer for South African team, Free State Stars, in March: "I appreciate my fans. And my wife and my girlfriend. I'm so sorry ... my wife! I love you so much from my heart."Allan Border after Australian opener Matt Renshaw "retired hurt" - instead of runs on the board, he was about to have them in his pants - in the first Test against India, just before lunch on the first day: "I hope he is lying on the table in there half-dead. Otherwise as captain I would not be happy." Renshaw came back out after lunch to add 68 to his total, and ended up top-scoring.

Eddie Jones on work/life balance, no really: "I never talk to my wife about rugby. I don't have anything rugby-related in my house. If you walked in, you wouldn't know that I am involved in rugby. I don't keep anything. I give everything away; it means more to other people."A Nike ad playing in Saudi Arabia shows "a woman nervously peering out of her doorway and adjusting her veil before going for a run in the street," as the female narrator says in a Saudi dialect: "What will they say about you? Maybe they'll say you exceeded all expectations." Feminism, empowered by capitalism, heading straight towards ludicrous religious strictures. Who will win? Discuss.

The redoubtable Michael Ennis, on MMM's Deadset Legends in April: "I thought [the Titans] were in a really good place. They found out who they were and were heading in the right direction and since the injection of Jarryd Hayne last year, I think they've gone backwards." He was dead-set right.

Wayne Bennett the philosopher on whether concussion should mean that rugby league teams are allowed to have extra players on the bench: "How many players do you want on the bench? Where does it all stop? I am not pushing for 18 players. We will lose a player then another and people will say we need 19. It's like a piece of string - there's no end to it." Don't know, Wayne. Only that your starting point has to be the safety of your players, and then work back from there. And of all the NRL coaches, you stand out for me, as the one who least understands that concussion is SERIOUS.

The Eels Cory Norman, after being instrumental in putting Manly to the sword: "Yeah, no, it was a physical game ... yeah, no we were a bit rusty like we thought we'd be. Yeah, no, Manly's got a good defensive system ... Yeah, no, Brad Arthur's been relaxed, surprisingly."

Waratahs coach Daryl Gibson on a rare, but fabulous, comeback win against the Rebels: "It's an excellent shot in the arm for us ... a win is chicken soup for the soul."

Socceroos coach Ange Postecoglou in March, telling everyone to keep calm and carry on: "For 20 years in coaching what I've been consistent in producing is teams that win things. I do it in a certain way, it does get scary, I understand that, I'm glad people care and I'm glad people are talking about it, I'm glad people are nervous and anxious and I'm glad they're passionate about it I've got no issue with that ..." Met him and interviewed him last Sunday on Sports Sunday - very likeable bloke. (That's what I wrote in March. In hindsight, I am not sure HE liked ME!)

The Sharks' James Maloney, on the news that Melbourne's Cooper Cronk is moving to Sydney to be near his fiancee: "Shit, I might lose my job!" When the smoke had cleared, Cronk had gone to the Roosters, Maloney to the Panthers, and Mitchell Pearce to the Knights.

John Coates declining to shake hands with Australian Sports Commission chief John Wylie: "I don't shake hands with liars. I don't shake hands with c---s." (See item.)

TEAM OF THE WEEK

Comanche. Won Sydney to Hobart.

Alastair Cook. Played the innings of the Ashes, and the innings of his life, carrying his bat to be *244 not out, at the conclusion of England's first innings in the fourth Test.

Les Morgan. Happy 100th birthday to the grade cricket stalwart who brought up his century last Saturday! Devoted servant of Western Suburbs and Balmain clubs. Played in the '30s, '40s and '50s against some of Australia's finest cricketers. 100 not out, and well played, sir.

Todd Greenberg. By heavily fining clubs that ignored the NRL's concussion protocols, the rugby league boss laid the foundation stone for what should be his greatest legacy to the game - though there remains a long way to go.

Harley Windsor and Ekaterina Alexandrovskaya. Became the first Australians to win a world figure-skating title at the world junior titles in Taiwan.

AFL. After recording an extraordinary 400,401 people watching Round 1 games, their juggernaut rolled on throughout the season, with huge crowds, strong ratings and the sense that as the years go by, they weigh ever more heavily on the other football codes in Oz.

Chloe Esposito. The breakout star of the Rio Olympics was everyone's pick to be Australia's favourite daughter for 2017. Strangely, I saw her once all year, in some ad for the Randwick Carnival. Not sure who is managing her, or if she even wants profile, but right now last year's star to beat them all, is this year's answer to a trivia quiz.

Buddy Franklin. Played his 250th game in the AFL in March, and generally had a very good year.

Sergio Garcia. In his 74th major, finally won one - in April, the Masters. Good bloke, long wait, good on him.

Liesl Tesch. The Paralympian gold medallist attracted a swing of about 10 per cent on first preferences in the Gosford byelection and is now a Member of Parliament of NSW - and going well!

Winx. On the MEGO Scale, as in My Eyes Glaze Over, horse-racing, nudges towards a 10 out of 10 for me, but this horse seemed to cause a lot of excitement throughout the year, I gather for winning a lot.

RIP. Ken Catchpole. 1939-2017. The great Wallaby half-back - the heart of the 1960s teams - passed away last week.

Twitter: @Peter_Fitz