When our PM finally spoke out about Barnaby Joyce’s infidelity with real moral condemnation, the country almost collectively exhaled.
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Until Thursday’s angry denouncement by the PM, did anyone in Canberra have a moral compass, or were they too afraid where it might point? Now the Nationals have to face questions, and they aren’t looking good. Honesty and self-control are vital to political leadership. What do we vote for in our leaders if not character - integrity, consistency, openness? What truer test of character is there than the way a person treats their spouse?
Marriage is a pillar of society, a promise to be faithful. That means two things - not having sexual relationships with others and to tell each other the truth.
Definitions of marriage change. We acknowledged 40 years ago marriages can end. Nobody judges anyone if things don’t work out. The reason for things ending carries a moral dimension. In almost every marriage breakup there is a party who feels they would have liked another chance.
So how about this for a guideline - don’t tell lies. Ask the new potential partner if she can wait. That’s the thing with ethical behaviour, it’s difficult. Let your partner know you want with kindness and care to dismantle what you both had. And wear their fury.
Many males have a line in self-deception around sexual misdemeanours we have excused for millennia. Australian masculinity stretches larrikinism into what should be called by its true name - terminal immaturity. The ethic applies equally to female choices. Don’t sleep with someone else's husband.
Infidelity is a massive chain of lies. Pretending nothing has changed, having sex with someone you no longer love and plan to abandon or acting as if things will be just fine with one’s children, when you know the time bomb is ticking on their world.
The capacity to deceive has to be enormous. Being disloyal and dishonest is not what you want in anyone close to the wheels of power. It’s not just Barnaby Joyce on the chopping block. We are seeing the coalition parties tested as to whether their conservatism is just a flag of convenience, a lie to voters about what they truly believe. Issues of right and wrong still matter to the Australian people, because they matter in the real world a very great deal. There are few things more important in life than who you can trust.
Steve Biddulph is the author of The New Manhood, and Ten Things Girls Need Most.